Yes, I have been that person. As many know I am the father of a special needs child. Rai was born with a brain malformation that caused epilepsy and the only cure besides having her in a medically induced coma was to have half her brain removed. This did work, but she is very cognitively and developmentally disabled. She will never hold a job, live on her own, or use the toilet. She won't be able to wash herself and will always need round the clock care. This is difficult, but it is something you deal with and you try and try to give her the best most fulfilling life ever.
However there are times when you see another family with a special needs child and you are jealous of them, and then you feel like a complete ass. Case in point. We take our younger two to swimming class. Rai likes the water but will never swim on her own. At this swimming class there was a young girl, about Rai's age (9) and she is getting swimming lessons. This sounds relatively normal, but this young lady was special needs, and I found myself lamenting the fact that Rai will never swim. Then I feel jealous. Why can't I have the daughter that is higher functioning. Then I realize that I am an ass. I have a great daughter, who might have some issues, but she is one of the 3 little lights in my life. And then I realize that I am a lucky man. My life might be chaotic, but hell I thrive on chaos.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Why and the 3rd person
So recently my 3 year old and 5 year old always ask "Why?" to everything, and it is driving me nuts. For example picture this: A nice summer day and we are driving along, when we see a woman and two dogs, my 5 year old asks me "Daddy, did I see two dogs?" I answer yes and she asks "Why?". My reaction is not one of anger but one of frustration. I kind of ask her if she just asked me why, and she responds "Why?" again. I try to ignore this, but have the thought running through my head that had something to do with the ocular nerve and brain neurons, all things that I know she won't get right now, but in about 6 months she will be teaching me.
So we get home and she goes up to my wife and says "Mira saw a woman and 2 dogs." All of a sudden she is now not only asking why but referring to herself in the 3rd person. We try to go with the flow, and then tell her we won't answer her if she is speaking this way. Well the kid is way smarter than that. She knows mommy and daddy are not going to ignore her so she smiles and keeps doing it.
This lasted about 1 month and we might have her over it. However, anytime she asks us a question we flinch as we answer it because we know the inevitable question to our answer is "why?". And my answer to that is "I have no idea." Not a far stretch of the truth.
So we get home and she goes up to my wife and says "Mira saw a woman and 2 dogs." All of a sudden she is now not only asking why but referring to herself in the 3rd person. We try to go with the flow, and then tell her we won't answer her if she is speaking this way. Well the kid is way smarter than that. She knows mommy and daddy are not going to ignore her so she smiles and keeps doing it.
This lasted about 1 month and we might have her over it. However, anytime she asks us a question we flinch as we answer it because we know the inevitable question to our answer is "why?". And my answer to that is "I have no idea." Not a far stretch of the truth.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
My wife is on vacation
So since moving to Minnesota 3 years ago I have been to France twice and back to Virginia once for a total of 13 days gone. My wife has been gone 1 weekend, grand total 3 days. If my math is correct, I am ahead by 10 days. With that said she is on a vacation by herself. Here is how it went down:
Wife: I would love to go to Arches and take pictures (National Park in Utah)
Me: Ok, go.
Wife: Really?
Me: Yep.
Wife: No really?
Me: Yep.
And she was gone 2 days later. She deserves it, but that is not what I plan to talk about. Most of you know I have 3 daughters, who are really wonderful, smart, sweet little girls. They try my patience from time to time (truthfully I am a passable father at best), but none the less I could not ask for better kids. So my dilemma was this. What do I do for 7 days to entertain them? Luckily they have school 5 days out of 7 so I will have time to clean and cook. But what activities do I have for them. So far today we have made sock puppets and cookies. Later there will be a puppet show and hopefully laughter. Tomorrow I plan on going to the zoo or another venue, just to get them out of the house. Yes I am a brave man. Then the next day is school, and I can recover a little, or plan out the hunting trips I have been promised. :)
So far it has not been to hard, but I do anticipate some breakdowns on both their and my part. I told my wife to check in every so often so I know she is okay and she knows the kids have not caused me to run and hide in my closet rocking and sucking my thumb while in the fetal position.
Wife: I would love to go to Arches and take pictures (National Park in Utah)
Me: Ok, go.
Wife: Really?
Me: Yep.
Wife: No really?
Me: Yep.
And she was gone 2 days later. She deserves it, but that is not what I plan to talk about. Most of you know I have 3 daughters, who are really wonderful, smart, sweet little girls. They try my patience from time to time (truthfully I am a passable father at best), but none the less I could not ask for better kids. So my dilemma was this. What do I do for 7 days to entertain them? Luckily they have school 5 days out of 7 so I will have time to clean and cook. But what activities do I have for them. So far today we have made sock puppets and cookies. Later there will be a puppet show and hopefully laughter. Tomorrow I plan on going to the zoo or another venue, just to get them out of the house. Yes I am a brave man. Then the next day is school, and I can recover a little, or plan out the hunting trips I have been promised. :)
So far it has not been to hard, but I do anticipate some breakdowns on both their and my part. I told my wife to check in every so often so I know she is okay and she knows the kids have not caused me to run and hide in my closet rocking and sucking my thumb while in the fetal position.
Friday, September 4, 2009
I can't believe what I just ate.
Today my wife and I took our 3 little angels to the Minnesota State Fair, also known as The Great Minnesota Get Together. the kids like the farm animals and the kids midway (the kiddie rides). They like the fact that they get hot dogs or corn dogs, maybe some cheese curds or ice cream. Me I go for different reasons. I do what I really should not do I eat my way through the fair. So here is a list of what I consumed, please if you have a weak stomach stop reading now.
1. Chocolate covered bacon. Sounds gross, but it is oh so good.
2. Thick cut bacon slathered in teriaki sauce. The heart attack special, but oh so good.
3. A huge breakfast sausage with syrup to dip it in. Mmmmmm breakfast.
4. A few mini cinnamon rolls.
5. A Texas sausage wrapped in a spiral cut potato. So it was a hot dog wrapped in chips.
6. My favorite, the deep fried Twinkie. This is a must have, just like fried pickles or Oreo's.
If you are in Minnesota and want to know where to go, just send me an e-mail. I can give you the shortest and fastest route to each and every vendor.
So in conclusion I am heading to the Doctor tomorrow for an IV full of Lipitor.
1. Chocolate covered bacon. Sounds gross, but it is oh so good.
2. Thick cut bacon slathered in teriaki sauce. The heart attack special, but oh so good.
3. A huge breakfast sausage with syrup to dip it in. Mmmmmm breakfast.
4. A few mini cinnamon rolls.
5. A Texas sausage wrapped in a spiral cut potato. So it was a hot dog wrapped in chips.
6. My favorite, the deep fried Twinkie. This is a must have, just like fried pickles or Oreo's.
If you are in Minnesota and want to know where to go, just send me an e-mail. I can give you the shortest and fastest route to each and every vendor.
So in conclusion I am heading to the Doctor tomorrow for an IV full of Lipitor.
Kids and Song Birds
So as many know I enjoy photography, and I mean a lot. More importantly I like taking pictures of wildlife and recently the best stuff I have been able to capture are the song birds in my backyard. This is no easy task. They don't sit and wait for you to get the right settings. You can tempt them with some bird seed but they are more than happy to take a seed and fly off behind some leaves. They don't come when they are called and you can't threaten them. Now you see where I am going. Taking pictures of song birds is like taking pictures of your kids, well my kids more specifically. I try, and try and try, but for every 100 pictures I take 5 might be good enough to share. One might think that this was a waste of film, and they would be right, however I shoot digital so I can erase what is not worth keeping.
Case in point. I was trying to take a picture of my 3 year old so that I could get her eyes, don't ask I have a thing about the eye, it's cool. Well I tried tempting her, let's be real here, bribing her and she would stand still for about .000000001 seconds after getting her bribe. So I try a different tactic, I give her the bribe after. Still she sat still for about .000000005 seconds.
So in conclusion kids are like song birds. They don't sit still. You can try to bribe them, but it rarely gives you the results you want. they rarely come when called and you cannot threaten them with anything more than a time out.
Case in point. I was trying to take a picture of my 3 year old so that I could get her eyes, don't ask I have a thing about the eye, it's cool. Well I tried tempting her, let's be real here, bribing her and she would stand still for about .000000001 seconds after getting her bribe. So I try a different tactic, I give her the bribe after. Still she sat still for about .000000005 seconds.
So in conclusion kids are like song birds. They don't sit still. You can try to bribe them, but it rarely gives you the results you want. they rarely come when called and you cannot threaten them with anything more than a time out.
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