So I'm an a-hole and other Christmas cheer

The other day I was at work. I work retail and work in the cash department of the store. I was blocking the line for a cashier so she could go to lunch and this guy walks up and I tell him that I am sorry but I am closing this line so my cashier can have lunch. He looks at me and calls me an "asshole". The guy behind me says 'Wow! He is full of Christmas cheer." To which I replied "That is not all he is full of". I am amazed everyday at how insensitive people are. Just because people work in a retail environment does not make you any better. The last time I worked in retail at Christmas, at the very same store mind you, this guy was angry when I told him about the lines and that we had all the people working we could and he tells me "Do you know what my time is worth?" To which I reply "No sir I do not, but that does not change the fact that the lines are what they are." Seriously, it is no wonder why I really cannot stand people during the holidays. I understand that people don't want to wait and we are a society of instant gratification, but it makes me think. If you are this big of a jerk to strangers what are you like at home. I have to apply the plastic smile and be cheery towards people. I get paid to do that. I get paid to try and smooth out angry customers. It is to a certain extent my job to take some abuse away from cashiers. I get it, and I am pretty damn good at what I do. People have told managers how good I am. Recently the store manager took a call from a customer who wanted to compliment me. That was nice, but for every one of those there are 20 other people I would rather grab by the belt and collar and toss though the doors. I don't do it I am just very tempted to. I'm just sayin'.

Epic Tantrums

I have been sitting on this topic for a few months now as I did not know how to approach it. I fully assume that someday when my kids are grown and I am still writing this blog that they might go back and read about some of the stories from when they were young, AKA now. So I will just come out and say sorry now.

So here is the back story. My wife and I were at Target with our 3 daughters, so we were already playing zone defense on 3 kids 1 of which was extremely, extremely tired. Did I mention how tired she was? Well we told her we were not going to buy her some piece of crap toy at the check out, that is when it happened. she threw the tantrum to end all tantrums. Jo looked at me and told me, without saying a word, to get her out of here. So I picked her up and started for the door. On the way to the door she started screaming in my ear, to the point I could not hear out of my right ear for about 2 hours. I already have some damage to that ear so it was really painful. then she tries to scratch me in the face. I was able to use one of my hands to block. Then she starts kicking, mind you all of this happens in the store, with employees staring at me like I am stealing this kid. Luckily for me it is a Target that knows us. So back to the kicking. She is flailing about and is looking down to see where she is landing the kicks. then she gets her little 5 year old foot where she wants it, right in the crotch. I almost went down, not like the time she punched me full force in the nuts the day of my vasectomy, but it hurt. i get her out to the car get her into her car seat and start the car and stand outside with the door open just in case she got herself unbuckled. Jo came out with the other 2 and we went home, end of story.

Do i know why she threw the tantrum, yes, of course I do. Do I know why kids throw tantrums, again yes. Why did I write about this? I don't know, maybe to give those out there a view into what you could possibly deal with as a parent. I always say, if you want to keep kids from having sex, send them to my house and see the organized chaos Jo and I live in everyday. :)

How to say it

I have a friend who has found out she has breast cancer, and is being a trooper about it. When my wife told me our friend was diagnosed I thought to myself, what if anything should I say to her the next time I spoke with her. Well that opportunity came sooner than I could think and this is how the conversation went:

Friend: Hey Dave, how are you?
Me: Helluva lot better than you!

Eesh, talk about opening mouth and inserting foot. I have never been good about speaking on the fly. If I give a presentation I have to look at it first and then I can go ahead, but clever things never seem to come to me right away. In school I was never the one to come back with the snappy come back. it was usually something to the effect of "F you" or "Bite me". It is always a good thing to be able to say something clever, cute, the right thing, or some what right thing. Here is another situation. An acquaintance tells me that his brother is in jail. My reaction, "Sucks to be him. Hope he doesn't end up someone's bitch."

So what do you do if you have my affliction? I am a funny guy, I think at least, and if you give me a few moments I can come up with the snappy come back or a more sensitive thing to say, but off the cuff, watch out. Who knows what is bound to come out of my mouth.

The jealous special needs parent

Yes, I have been that person. As many know I am the father of a special needs child. Rai was born with a brain malformation that caused epilepsy and the only cure besides having her in a medically induced coma was to have half her brain removed. This did work, but she is very cognitively and developmentally disabled. She will never hold a job, live on her own, or use the toilet. She won't be able to wash herself and will always need round the clock care. This is difficult, but it is something you deal with and you try and try to give her the best most fulfilling life ever.

However there are times when you see another family with a special needs child and you are jealous of them, and then you feel like a complete ass. Case in point. We take our younger two to swimming class. Rai likes the water but will never swim on her own. At this swimming class there was a young girl, about Rai's age (9) and she is getting swimming lessons. This sounds relatively normal, but this young lady was special needs, and I found myself lamenting the fact that Rai will never swim. Then I feel jealous. Why can't I have the daughter that is higher functioning. Then I realize that I am an ass. I have a great daughter, who might have some issues, but she is one of the 3 little lights in my life. And then I realize that I am a lucky man. My life might be chaotic, but hell I thrive on chaos.

Why and the 3rd person

So recently my 3 year old and 5 year old always ask "Why?" to everything, and it is driving me nuts. For example picture this: A nice summer day and we are driving along, when we see a woman and two dogs, my 5 year old asks me "Daddy, did I see two dogs?" I answer yes and she asks "Why?". My reaction is not one of anger but one of frustration. I kind of ask her if she just asked me why, and she responds "Why?" again. I try to ignore this, but have the thought running through my head that had something to do with the ocular nerve and brain neurons, all things that I know she won't get right now, but in about 6 months she will be teaching me.

So we get home and she goes up to my wife and says "Mira saw a woman and 2 dogs." All of a sudden she is now not only asking why but referring to herself in the 3rd person. We try to go with the flow, and then tell her we won't answer her if she is speaking this way. Well the kid is way smarter than that. She knows mommy and daddy are not going to ignore her so she smiles and keeps doing it.

This lasted about 1 month and we might have her over it. However, anytime she asks us a question we flinch as we answer it because we know the inevitable question to our answer is "why?". And my answer to that is "I have no idea." Not a far stretch of the truth.

My wife is on vacation

So since moving to Minnesota 3 years ago I have been to France twice and back to Virginia once for a total of 13 days gone. My wife has been gone 1 weekend, grand total 3 days. If my math is correct, I am ahead by 10 days. With that said she is on a vacation by herself. Here is how it went down:

Wife: I would love to go to Arches and take pictures (National Park in Utah)
Me: Ok, go.
Wife: Really?
Me: Yep.
Wife: No really?
Me: Yep.

And she was gone 2 days later. She deserves it, but that is not what I plan to talk about. Most of you know I have 3 daughters, who are really wonderful, smart, sweet little girls. They try my patience from time to time (truthfully I am a passable father at best), but none the less I could not ask for better kids. So my dilemma was this. What do I do for 7 days to entertain them? Luckily they have school 5 days out of 7 so I will have time to clean and cook. But what activities do I have for them. So far today we have made sock puppets and cookies. Later there will be a puppet show and hopefully laughter. Tomorrow I plan on going to the zoo or another venue, just to get them out of the house. Yes I am a brave man. Then the next day is school, and I can recover a little, or plan out the hunting trips I have been promised. :)

So far it has not been to hard, but I do anticipate some breakdowns on both their and my part. I told my wife to check in every so often so I know she is okay and she knows the kids have not caused me to run and hide in my closet rocking and sucking my thumb while in the fetal position.

I can't believe what I just ate.

Today my wife and I took our 3 little angels to the Minnesota State Fair, also known as The Great Minnesota Get Together. the kids like the farm animals and the kids midway (the kiddie rides). They like the fact that they get hot dogs or corn dogs, maybe some cheese curds or ice cream. Me I go for different reasons. I do what I really should not do I eat my way through the fair. So here is a list of what I consumed, please if you have a weak stomach stop reading now.

1. Chocolate covered bacon. Sounds gross, but it is oh so good.
2. Thick cut bacon slathered in teriaki sauce. The heart attack special, but oh so good.
3. A huge breakfast sausage with syrup to dip it in. Mmmmmm breakfast.
4. A few mini cinnamon rolls.
5. A Texas sausage wrapped in a spiral cut potato. So it was a hot dog wrapped in chips.
6. My favorite, the deep fried Twinkie. This is a must have, just like fried pickles or Oreo's.

If you are in Minnesota and want to know where to go, just send me an e-mail. I can give you the shortest and fastest route to each and every vendor.

So in conclusion I am heading to the Doctor tomorrow for an IV full of Lipitor.

Kids and Song Birds

So as many know I enjoy photography, and I mean a lot. More importantly I like taking pictures of wildlife and recently the best stuff I have been able to capture are the song birds in my backyard. This is no easy task. They don't sit and wait for you to get the right settings. You can tempt them with some bird seed but they are more than happy to take a seed and fly off behind some leaves. They don't come when they are called and you can't threaten them. Now you see where I am going. Taking pictures of song birds is like taking pictures of your kids, well my kids more specifically. I try, and try and try, but for every 100 pictures I take 5 might be good enough to share. One might think that this was a waste of film, and they would be right, however I shoot digital so I can erase what is not worth keeping.

Case in point. I was trying to take a picture of my 3 year old so that I could get her eyes, don't ask I have a thing about the eye, it's cool. Well I tried tempting her, let's be real here, bribing her and she would stand still for about .000000001 seconds after getting her bribe. So I try a different tactic, I give her the bribe after. Still she sat still for about .000000005 seconds.

So in conclusion kids are like song birds. They don't sit still. You can try to bribe them, but it rarely gives you the results you want. they rarely come when called and you cannot threaten them with anything more than a time out.

I'm a DB

OK so I was reading an article in Details magazine (I bought it accidentally) and it is an article about douche bag hair, and it got me thinking. Am I one of those? Good god I have the little drip catcher on my face along with the chin scruff. Good god I use product everyday. Good god I have way to many different bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Good god I AM a douche bag, well maybe metrosexual. How did this happen? I love the outdoors. I love camping and hiking and hunting. Hell I can make fire with just a metal match. I can kill, gut and skin an animal then cook it over the aforementioned fire. How did this happen?

I blame my father actually. I did not grow up poor. We were comfortable and it was just me and my dad. We ate out 4-5 days a week, I went to a good private school. But as much as dad spent money on those things he never, ever spent his money on clothes, good hair cuts, shoes, quality hygiene products. Dad did not stink but if he could buy it in bulk, he did. And it did not matter what brand it was. When I was 14-15 I had bad dandruff, because the stuff I was using did not moisturize my scalp (ok, that sounds really douchey). Dad had a cool car, I had a passable one, which I agree with to this day, and I still have a passable car not a cool one. But dammit I would have loved to have a pair of Adidas, not "Sweats".

If anybody reads this they will say why did I not just go out and get a job and buy it myself? Because I was not allowed to have a job. My job was to concentrate on school, which I was not very good at. So now I have a counter full of product, more than my wife, I take great care into my looks (but not really my weight, I could lose 30+ lbs), I choose my clothing very carefully, and now that I make my own money I buy nicer things, but I do shop sales and outlets to maximize my cash. My car is passable, I bought it used and it is ok, not great. My house is nice, well decorated and appointed, although the kids do trash it a lot.

So I guess I am a douche bag. I can't wait for next season, maybe I can erase some of this.

Tipping the canoe

So as a few know the family and I took a week vacation to Ely, MN. it was very cool. No phone, tv or internet. Nothing but family time, it was what we all needed. But that is not what I am here to talk about. While there Jo, my beloved wife, decided she would like to rent a canoe. I thought this was a great idea. In our younger years we both did quite a bit of canoeing and both have very fond memories of it. But again this is not what I am here to talk about.

As many people know I quit smoking this year. I have always been a "large" man, but because of this lack of cigarette in my mouth I found something else to occupy my time, and that would be food. Yes the glorious thing we need to survive. We just don't need the copious amounts I was shoveling into my mouth. So needless to say I have put on "some" weight, and I will just leave it at that. When people ask if I want to get into shape I always reply, 'I am in shape, round is a shape".

With that being said we rented the canoe and Jo took out our 2 younger daughters. When she got back I said I wanted to go out. So I did and I went to meet the fam at the swimming beach. I made it there without incident. When it was time to go back, I realized I had been sitting in the bow, or front, of the canoe. So I got back in the canoe, this time in the proper place, the backor aft and watched as the bow started to raise out of the water. I soon realized I was under the water. Yep I tipped the canoe. being me I jumped up and laughed at myself, a good thing to learn, and realized my cell was in my pocket. I threw that at Jo and she opened it and took out the battery so we can go back and do the rice trick. Well I decide to get back in and sit the way I had been on the row over and again found myself in the drink.

So to summarize I quit smoking, got fat and fell into the water and was able to laugh at myself. Moral of the story, who cares, it is just funny to think of me falling into the water.

Modern Communication

A while back my wife and I took our 3 kids out to dinner to a local pizzeria. We get there and we see that there are 2 adults sitting at a table for 6 and a kid sitting at the other large table by himself playing his Nintendo DS. Fine the kid just does not want to be near his parents. So my wife asks if he is sitting there and could we have the table. His parents reply, very nicely that they are waiting for their friends and they need both tables. Cool no problem, they even help us put tables together. Very cool, so why you may ask am I writing this. Ahh, just wait.

So the other families show up and the kid barely looks up from his game to acknowledge new people. Then the other kids, and I mean all of them, whip out their DS's. Now I don't know much about these things but it seemed like the kids joined him in his game and they were chatting about the game, via the game. That's right not one spoken word, and they were sitting right next to each other.

In this day and age of technology the spoken word and parts of the written word are being lost. kids are losing the ability to deal with anybody face to face. Yes I know this seems like an exaggeration but it is true. I see it in the schools. The kids from the lower income homes who cannot afford the fancy toys like the DS are actually better able to communicate face to face than the kids in my neck of the woods. The lower income people might not have the best grammar, but then again not everybody does no matter what their economic situation, but theses kids actually have the ability to be social and deal with their peers better than the kids who had the expensive messaging phones or the DS or any number of high priced gadgets.

Yes my medium to get my point across is via a laptop on a website reaching out to the world, but I still speak with people everyday using my mouth and without adding emoticons in my sentences.

You're a baby butt!

This is what I heard the other night coming from the kids bathroom. It seems that my 3 year old did not like something my 5 year old did and this was the worst thing she could think of to say. It amazes me everyday as I watch my 3 daughters grow up the milestones they make. Two months ago I would never have heard name calling from my 3 year old. It amazes me morethat she would be so mad as to string together this sentence.

Let me break it down if you will. Being called a baby has become a very huge insult among the kids at their school. Being called a butt is the next step up. However, for her to string the words together as an insult was both a huge proud moment for her development, and a horrific moment as I realized that this was just the first of many arguments between them. They love each other, but several times a day there is a fight.

Before the name calling incident there was another where the 3 year old tackled the 5 year old and proceeded to hammer fist her in the face. Again there is the dilemma. With my background in martial arts and MMA I was amazed at the raw talent and instinct she showed and utterly horrified at the viciousness of the attack.

I guess I know what the teen years are going to be like.

just back

I went to paris for my cousin Sandra's wedding and I cannot begin to say how much I love it there. So here is what went down.

I arrived on Friday at 9:30 am and was taken to my hotel, the Eiffel Kennedy, which was to die for. The place was clean, friendly, comfortable and the breakfast was outrageous. So after a nap I was whisked away to the civil ceremony, where Sandra was dressed like a flapper. It was very nice. After that went back to my Aunt Mayda and Uncle Pierre's apartment, from which you can see the top of the Eiffel Tower. After falling asleep on the couch I was ushered to a back room, most likely because I was snoring. After another short nap we went out to dinner at a cafe around the corner. It was great had duck breast in a buttery cream sauce along with some really good red wine. That was the end of day 1. I went back to my rock star hotel and slept for about 11 hours.

The next day was the church ceremony and reception. This was a very busy day. First at the church I was the one to give the blessings for the marriage. Because my dad was Sandra's Godfather I had to take over his duties because he is dead. it was surreal having to be part of this and at the same time very cool. So the church part is over and I was again whisked away to lunch with Tony his wife Anna, thier 17 year old daughter Lara and my Aunt Jeannette. This place was even cooler, since the dining room was built in 1898 and walled up before WW1. It was rediscovered in the late 1970's and was fully restored to its Art deco ness. Again had duck accompanied by escargot and a chocolate profiteroles for dessert. Then off to the country for the reception. The reception was at Apremot Golf Club near the Chateau of Chantilly. Again more great food and wine.

Next day was back to Apremot for golf which was rained out. The next day Sandra and her new husband Geoffrey took me touristing and that was that. There are a lot of details I could add, but that will have to wait.

getting hit

Why do children automatically know just the wrong, and I mean wrong place to hit their dads? it is inevitable that at least once a day I will get hit in the groin by one of my daughters who in turn will laugh hysterically. The day I got my vasectomy my now 5 year old got mad at me and balled her little fist and made very direct contact with my very "tender" nuts. yeah I dropped like a sack of flour. I got hit with a lacrosse ball shot at goal that shattered my cup and it was n ot nearly as painful. My wife tells me not to give such a "good" reaction, but it is hard. I always ask her if she knows what it feels like to get hit in the balls? (knowing she does not, since she does not have man parts) And she will say no. I then said that it is hard not to cry out, and one time shed a tear, when it happens. I have tried, trust me I have tried but it does not work. There is no way at all that you cannot react, but how do they instinctively know where it hurts daddy the most. It is like once you become a dad your nuts are a magnet for punishment.

We are known for our BBQ...

so a few weeks ago my wife, our 3 kids and I went to Albertville, MN to go to the outlets. After getting great deals at Columbia, Hannah Anderson, Converse and Eddie Bauer we decided to go to a chain restaurant. Now I won't mention names but I will give some hints. it rhymes with Space Aliens Cafe. Now this is a place where the kids can play games and win crappy plastic stuff, but it looked fun, and it was. We get our menus and there is a lot to see, so I ask the waitress, who was really nice, what is good. She replies "Well, we are known for our BBQ." being a good southern boy I take the bait, as does my lovely wife.

The real question I have is why are they known for their BBQ. Mine was edible, Jo's tasted like the sauce was made with Mr. Clean. So I am not sure if they are known in a good way, which i doubt, or a not so good way, my choice.

now this is not the first time I have encountered this here in MN. Mind you not everbody in teh Us uses the same terminology for applying indirect or direct heat to meat and the use of smoke. Let me explain. In many places around the country they call grilling, which is applying direct heat and cooking quickly, BBQ'ing. i don't agree, but hey we all have our flaws.

Enough technical mumbo jumbo, back to the story. I was downtown Minneapolis in the summer of 2006. I was going to eat at a restaurant with some co-workers. the waitress tells us the specials, and one is a BBQ pork sandwich. I ask her what style of BBQ and her response was "You know BBQ style." I did get my ehart re-started but it took a few shocks from the defib.

I have learned that when somebody up here says BBQ, look for a steak of somehting slathered in some store bought sauce, unless of course you go to the retsaurant whose name rhymes with Fanous Dave's.

Painter's tape

What happens when you leave the blue painter's tape on the kitchen counter? Your 4 year old and 3 year old get their hands on it. I wish they had let me take pictures. they were both covered in "band-aids", as was the furniture, the dog, their older sister had a few and the chair obviously was in great need of a wrapping in said band-aids.

moral of the short story: Always keep your camera handy and snap a few candids of the carnage before your kids can protest.

Lucy vs. Belle and Snoopy's collar

My 4 year old Mira has a thing where she names all of her animals Lucy. I have no idea why, I can't think of any cartoon characters that she has seen named Lucy. Well she got her hands on my wife's childhood stuffed animal Belle, Snoopy's girlfriend. She has had this animal for about 2 months and the clothes are gone, she always strips her dollies and animals down to "nakkie", more on that another time. Well she brings out this stripped stuffed dog and is calling it Lucy. My wife, bless her, says "No her name is Belle".

Mira: "Lucy"
Jo: "No Belle"
Mira: "Lucy"
Jo: "Belle"

This goes on for about 2 minutes with a 30 something (sorry hon) and a 4 year old going back and forth. My wife finally says "No she is mine and her name is Belle. You already took Snoopy's collar, stripped her naked and you are not changing her name".

Ah the joys of parenthood. This is what happens to you when you have kids.

Speaking in tongues

It has been a while since I have had the energy to post, but I wrote down my ideas so hopefully I will have some good ones to read.

This happened about 2 weeks ago. I was sitting on the couch at the end of a very long day and I was exhausted. My middle daughter asks me why it got dark so fast outside. I glance up and see a cloud had covered the sun for a moment. Well, my response went something like "I ah mmm we duh um eh o alve ah dkcghfnd..." you get the picture. All of a sudden I hear hysterical laughing coming from the kitchen and my wife, after she composes herself, asks me when I started speaking in tongues. Unfortunately, this is not the first time this has happened and I can bet it will not be the last.

the question is how do you recover from this after your 4 year old looks at you like you are an idiot. Simple the tickle monster comes for a visit. After she has laughed herself into hicups she won't remember that you sounded like a blathering fool. two problems solved. She gets a laugh and you get to save face due to some tickle induced amnesia. It's a win win situation.

Odd excitement

What is it about potty training that get's us as parents so excited. Well, let me tell you. When you realize you don't have to change anymore poop diapers. It is liberating. Of course things are different with my oldest, but that is something I have come to accept. But the other 2 that is another story. Finally today my middle who is almost 5 pooped in the potty, and let me tell you the celebration. I am very proud of her, she was very apprehensive about this, and did it without anybody really prompting her. Of course she had to see her little sister triumph yesterday and then fail today before she felt confident enough to go to the potty. She was so excited I thought she was going to have us take a picture. now that might have happened, but quickly erased.

Ah after this I can't wait until they are teenagers.

I have nothing

That's right I have nothing. At least nothing positive or amusing to write about. I can't write about the kids I work with, that would break confidentiality. I could but the situations could be figured out. Let me tell you I had a few doosies today. With my kids it was even worse. I am not the best father in the world, by any stretch if the imagination, but I am a passable father. They just don't listen and with my luck they never will.

The day is over

OK here is the sequence of events from today. (times are sometimes a guesstimate)

6 am - woke up, took care of some things.
6:30 - woke up wife and 2 of 3 kids
6:40 - woke up Rai
7:19 - on the road to Gillette's (Children's Hospital in St. Paul)
8:20 - arrive, abortion protesters are out
8:35 - admitted to pre-op
9:50 - Rai and Jo head back, I go to eat with Mira & Laura
11:15 - Rai in post op
11:45 - I see Rai for first time since 9:50
12:45 pm - we are released and are home
7:30 Rai in bed doped to the gills

All in all this was a very minor surgery. they removed 4 screws and 2 plates and shaved down some bone spurs. Jo described it to her mom as the continental plates shifting and forming mountains, I thought that was cool and clever. The doc was cool, he gave us the 4 screws (the size used in glasses, maybe a bit bigger) and plates (less than an inch long and 4 mm wide), which I think is very cool. She is asleep and was even a little chatty before bed. Hopefully this is the last one ever, especially since the 3rd plate is now covered in bone and there is no way a screw can poke through her scalp.

Follow up

OK so the doctors were attractive, but not so that I felt like slinking away in a corner. The procedure is on Thursday morning and it should only last about 30 minutes. Here is the kicker. the reason she has to go through this is because she is growing, which is a good thing, sort of, more in a moment.

Because she is growing one of the plates holding the scull bones together has detached and that is what is causing the screw to poke though her scalp. Now when I say the screw is poking through her scalp, I mean it. You can see the star of the phillips head, and it is shiny. if you ever saw the movie Judge Dread, yeah I did, there is a character in the beginning who is a cyborg of sorts and you can see the metal plate in his head. Even though this screw is about 5 millimeters big it seems to cover her whole head when I describe it, ah the power of descriptive wording.

Now you may ask why it is sort of good she is growing. My daughter is very disabled, both physically and mentally. she still wears diapers and is going through what is called precocious puberty. This means she is starting to grow breasts and has pubic hair. she will probably have her period in the next year or 2.

Just another chapter to the book.

Attractive Doctors

So my wife and I are talking about Rai going to the Dr. tomorrow and she proceeds to tell me that the hospital where we were going tomorrow had a plethora of attractive Doctors. Hmmm. OK I am mid 30's going grey and right now overweight to the point I am changing my clothes in the dark, ok not that bad, but I am in need of a few good workouts, to say the least.

I have never had a good looking doctor, for anything. The closest I came to that was some fairly hot nurses. That is another story and is better told in person (I tell a pretty good story if I do say so myself). so tomorrow I am accompanying the rest of my clan to this hospital, where I am going to feel very insecure, a feeling that has not been in my repetoire for many years.

Oh well. Tonight I drink red wine, tomorrow I see attractive doctors and feel insecure, and then realise that at one pint in my life I was a bad ass and feel a little better about myself. Shallow? Absolutely. Coping? Most definately. Do I care? A little. Will I lose weight? Someday, give me a break I only quit smoking 26 days ago.

Another hole in her head...

One of my favorite sayings to my kids and some students I work with is "You need that like you need another hole in your head." Well, my words have come back to bite me, and how. My oldest daughter is disabled and has had 4 different brain surgeries since 2003, the last being in 2004. All has been relatively good for her since then. Only a few seizures a year now rather than a few dozen a day. because of the extensive brain surgeries she has plates screwed in to her skull to keep it together. it now seems that one of the screws has rubbed its way through her scalp. Now she needs to have another surgery, albeit a minor one, this week.

Ah, just one of the great pleasures of fatherhood. :)

Welcome

Welcome to The Book According to Dad! Yes, I am a dad. I have 3 beautiful daughters who are smart, sassy and very independent, although they are all under 10 years old. The reason i started this was because I could not think about what to write about at my other blog (the Book According to Dave) and I was getting increasingly frustrated. after speaking with a friend she suggested that I write about being a dad, since my stories amused her. So here I am, and I hope if you come and read I can add a little levity. There will be serious stuff, maybe, but my kids provide me with an unending supply of fodder.

Who knows maybe this will still be going when they are teenagers and I can really embarrass them.

So keep an eye out and enjoy the folly that is my life. :)