I'm a DB

OK so I was reading an article in Details magazine (I bought it accidentally) and it is an article about douche bag hair, and it got me thinking. Am I one of those? Good god I have the little drip catcher on my face along with the chin scruff. Good god I use product everyday. Good god I have way to many different bottles of shampoo and conditioner. Good god I AM a douche bag, well maybe metrosexual. How did this happen? I love the outdoors. I love camping and hiking and hunting. Hell I can make fire with just a metal match. I can kill, gut and skin an animal then cook it over the aforementioned fire. How did this happen?

I blame my father actually. I did not grow up poor. We were comfortable and it was just me and my dad. We ate out 4-5 days a week, I went to a good private school. But as much as dad spent money on those things he never, ever spent his money on clothes, good hair cuts, shoes, quality hygiene products. Dad did not stink but if he could buy it in bulk, he did. And it did not matter what brand it was. When I was 14-15 I had bad dandruff, because the stuff I was using did not moisturize my scalp (ok, that sounds really douchey). Dad had a cool car, I had a passable one, which I agree with to this day, and I still have a passable car not a cool one. But dammit I would have loved to have a pair of Adidas, not "Sweats".

If anybody reads this they will say why did I not just go out and get a job and buy it myself? Because I was not allowed to have a job. My job was to concentrate on school, which I was not very good at. So now I have a counter full of product, more than my wife, I take great care into my looks (but not really my weight, I could lose 30+ lbs), I choose my clothing very carefully, and now that I make my own money I buy nicer things, but I do shop sales and outlets to maximize my cash. My car is passable, I bought it used and it is ok, not great. My house is nice, well decorated and appointed, although the kids do trash it a lot.

So I guess I am a douche bag. I can't wait for next season, maybe I can erase some of this.