Yes, I have been that person. As many know I am the father of a special needs child. Rai was born with a brain malformation that caused epilepsy and the only cure besides having her in a medically induced coma was to have half her brain removed. This did work, but she is very cognitively and developmentally disabled. She will never hold a job, live on her own, or use the toilet. She won't be able to wash herself and will always need round the clock care. This is difficult, but it is something you deal with and you try and try to give her the best most fulfilling life ever.
However there are times when you see another family with a special needs child and you are jealous of them, and then you feel like a complete ass. Case in point. We take our younger two to swimming class. Rai likes the water but will never swim on her own. At this swimming class there was a young girl, about Rai's age (9) and she is getting swimming lessons. This sounds relatively normal, but this young lady was special needs, and I found myself lamenting the fact that Rai will never swim. Then I feel jealous. Why can't I have the daughter that is higher functioning. Then I realize that I am an ass. I have a great daughter, who might have some issues, but she is one of the 3 little lights in my life. And then I realize that I am a lucky man. My life might be chaotic, but hell I thrive on chaos.
Ah, Dave, don't be so hard on yourself. You are human and you love your children and Rai is blessed to have you as her father!
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